5 Confessions of an INFJ

Note:  Non-travel related post.

I first took the Myers-Briggs personality test in high school.  It was introduced as a way for students to consider career paths that may suit their personality “types”.  I took it again in college, and later as part of a team workshop at one of my professional jobs.  My “type” had always stayed the same, as an INFJ through and through.  INFJ is just one of 16 possible personality types that people could be classified under.

Here are my 5 confessions as an INFJ:

1.  INFJs Are Human Lie Detectors

Intuition is one of INFJ’s primary functions, and somehow, we are extremely good at picking up even the most little of things and connecting them to patterns.  This indirectly allows us to make accurate observations that might seemed uncanny to others.  And sometimes, we can even intuitively pick up people’s intentions, before they may even truly know it themselves.

INFJs deeply value honesty and integrity, so we hate it when people lie to us.  And we know when people are not being authentic or lying to us.  We might not call you out on it, but if you lie to us, we wouldn’t trust what you say or do. I think this quote sums it up best, “If you lie once, all your truths become questionable”.

2.  INFJs are Idealistic

INFJ’s are an idealistic bunch. We can see the good in everyone, and we have a very rich inner life where we see tons of possibilities. INFJs are not only dreamers, but also do-ers.  We like to find ways to turn possibilities into realities.  We have an annoyingly constant need to improve things.  The idealists in us want to change the world.  It’s in our core.

3.  The “INFJ Doorslam” is Real

What is the INFJ Doorslam?  This article covers it pretty well.

INFJs are forgiving and loving individuals, who devote a lot of themselves to caring for others. When they reach their breaking point sometimes the Door Slam is simply a necessary action for them to move on.

The INFJ doorslam is real.  Looking back, I’ve done it once and I didn’t even know what it was at the time.  An INFJ can suddenly shut down a relationship if s/he decides that the relationship is no longer worth investing in. When some boundaries are crossed or some value system is compromised, it is our self-protection mechanism.  For those who are on the receiving end, the doorslam is usually permanent.

The good thing is that the doorslam isn’t something that is done lightly.  You really have to screw up pretty badly to get the wrath of the INFJ doorslam.  The doorslam is not literal. On the contrary, it can happen gradually.

4.  INFJs can absorb other people’s emotions

The (F)eeling is the auxiliary function of an INFJ.  Here’s what most people don’t know: We can somehow absorb other people’s emotions, if we choose to.  I don’t know how else to explain it — it’s not being able to empathize, or think about a situation in someone else’ shoes.  We can, quite literally, absorb how the the other person is actually feeling.

For a long, long time, I thought that’s how everyone operates, until …I realize that it’s not the case.

5.  INFJs are a walking contradictions

INFJs are sometimes known as social chameleons, so INFJs sometimes get mistyped as another type.  For example, people who don’t know me well would often mistake me as an extrovert.

I tend to think INFJ as a walking contradiction, balancing between the ying and yang.

• We like people and yet can be disappointed by them (in part, due to our high expectations).
• We can be like social butterflies, and yet we desperately need alone time to recharge our energy.
• We seek real, deep soul connections, but they are so, so rare to find.
• We don’t like conflicts, but you’d be surprised how passionate we’d get when we have to argue for things or causes that are truly passionate to us.
• We are private people.  We don’t like to share a lot of private things unless you are in the inner circle of friends. Yet you may be surprised at how much random stuff people (even strangers) tell us.

If you are interested in taking a personality test, you can take a decent one for free online.

Are you an INFJ?  Would you say these also accurately reflect who you are? What did I miss?